| In which Lockhart is discovered as a fraud. |
[11 Jan 2012|12:58pm] |
[Failward to Francis Wilkes. Now public]
Help.
Please.
|
|
|
[11 Dec 2011|11:09pm] |
[Death Eaters]
That hunting trip that I went on with Alecto and Barty proved to be quite fruitful. I'm glad that my skills are not only good against magical beasts, but non-magical beasts as well.
I think that I may have surprised my hunting partners with my skills on the field. It must be because my talents are so extraordinary in person. It is one thing to read about something, but is a completely different thing to actually experience it.
You simply should have seen me out there. Me, Gilderoy Lockhart, taking down hyenas, lions, rhinoceroses, wildebeests, and warthogs. It was quite a sight.
Maybe I will write a book about hunting. I'm sure that my dear fans would love to read about it.
In other news, I have a feeling that we should go to Morocco. I don't know what it is. Maybe it was the dream I had last night. Sometimes dreams can be very revealing, especially when you've experienced as much in life as I have. The subconscious is a funny thing. You should start packing your bags immediately.
|
|
|
[09 Dec 2011|10:26am] |
Who is this John Lennon person, and why does everyone care that he's dead?
I'm sure that he was a lovely person and all, but it isn't as though he fought off manticores with his bare hands. He didn't save entire villages from banshees or werewolves.
This John Lennon person didn't even have a Most Charming Smile Award from Witch Weekly.
|
|
|
[16 Nov 2011|09:12pm] |
[Death Eaters]
What is that noise? Someone is speaking some foreign language.
Where is that coming from? Are more people here?
The walls are talking. What did you all do? This is what we get for letting inexperienced wizards galavant in a dangerous pyramid.
|
|
|
[01 Oct 2011|08:35pm] |
[Private to Death Eaters}
I own several pairs of tailor-made trousers. There is no need for me to take anyone else's less than satisfactory trousers. I did not steal any trousers!
|
|
|
[21 Aug 2011|12:54am] |
[Death Eaters]
Why did I ever give up flying? While that trip may have been uncomfortable, it reminded me of how much I had loved riding brooms when I was on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. I feel as free as a phoenix while I am soaring across the sky on my broom.
With that said, I do believe that we are in Egypt, but does anyone know exactly where we are? I see some sort of desert shrubbery and some water. I don’t think that we anywhere near Madame Zabini des Rosiers’ home.
Should I attempt to wrangle camels for us? Where would I even begin to look for camels?
|
|
|
[03 Aug 2011|01:50am] |
This is an outrage! This is an absolute outrage!
How could I, Gilderoy Lockhart, be a suspected terrorist? I am an adventurer. I am a hero. I am not a terrorist!
I even say in Chapter Twelve of my award winning book Wanderings with Werewolves that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magical and nonmagical people!
I cannot believe that this is happening!
|
|
|
[19 Jul 2011|12:23pm] |
[Death Eaters]
We will be returning to England on a plain. I bought all of us tickets. It was our only option. You are welcome.
|
|
|
[14 Jul 2011|12:48pm] |
[Warded to the Death Eaters]
I was just looking for my name in browsing through Witch Weekly. I know, it is a women's magazine, but I was bored, and it was something to look at. Apparently there is a rather large fashion show in London that will be showcasing tiaras.
This may seem like a trivial matter, but I assure you that it is of utmost importance.
Have any of you heard of Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem? It is a crown of sorts that was owned, obviously, by Ravenclaw herself. Legend has it that it enhances the wisdom of the wearer. It has been lost for centuries, but there is a tiara that is in the show that resembles what the Lost Diadem is rumoured to look like.
I know that I do not need enhanced wisdom, however the lot of you might. Perhaps we should go investigate it.
|
|
|
[22 Jun 2011|01:09pm] |
I still cannot believe it. Me? Witch Weekly's Most Eligible Terrorist Bachelor? I didn’t even know that I was in the running! This is all too much to handle!
I just want to take this opportunity to thank all of my adoring fans. You are all too kind. I do not deserve to have fans that are as wonderful as all of you. This would not have been possible without you!
|
|
| Left unwarded |
[16 Jun 2011|02:05pm] |
If you are going to keep me here, then you lot can at least treat me well. This food is horrible! I deserve better than this.
I want a prime rib and approximately three ounces of steamed broccoli immediately! And a second bed! I will not share one with that!
My fans will hear about this!
|
|
|
[09 Jun 2011|08:53pm] |
[Private to Death Eaters]
Francis, I bought you a new think I found Winnifred. See?
He wasn't harmed at all, and I healed his ribs. See? I told you all that I would find him.
|
|
|
[05 Jun 2011|01:53am] |
[Death Eaters]
I just bought us all train tickets to New York. We are still going there, right?
Please do be quiet on the train. I have to work on my new book. I may be the greatest literary voice of our time, but I do need to concentrate. It is such hard work being a genius.
Anyway, the train leaves in two hours. I hope that you will all have enough time to pack.
|
|
| THIS IS UNWARDED. HAVE FUN. |
[14 May 2011|07:16am] |
|
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY HAIR GROWTH POTION? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!
|
|
| 2 May 1980 |
[02 May 2011|02:14pm] |
[Private to Francis Wilkes]
I believe that you have brought me into your party without telling me the whole truth.
Why did you not tell me that Mr. Rosier is a Death Eater?
|
|
| 27 April 1980 |
[27 Apr 2011|03:27am] |
Every journey must come to a close, and though my journey has not ended, I have decided to end my travels with the Ministry party.
I have found a new group of companions to travel with. They are very supportive of my endeavors. I hope that this new travel arrangement will be mutually beneficial, and I hope that it will aid me in my hunt for Horcruxes.
My beloved fans, I promise that I will not give up until I have successfully completed my quest.
|
|
| 13 April 1980 - The morning after |
[13 Apr 2011|02:54pm] |
My hair! My beautiful hair!
IT IS RUINED!
|
|
| 12 April 1980 |
[12 Apr 2011|06:07pm] |
Never fear, my loyal fans. I will return to you soon enough, but now I must go on a quest to collect these Horcruxes.
I know that it may put me in perilous danger, but fear not because I, Gilderoy Lockhart, will return unscathed. I will fight off all beasts that attempt to harm me with great bravery. I will make you proud.
|
|